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Continue New Yorker Cartoon Contest--Mar 17

Man in Electric Chair
elecchair.jpg
March 17, 2006

Cartoon: Man strapped to electric chair speaking into a phone
  1. BM: "I'm still waiting for the last supper."
  2. MM: "I'm still praying for a power outage."
  3. "Look, I've told you. I can't stand brocolli."
  4. "What do you mean, it's too late to change my will?"
  5. "Could you connect me to Christ the Redeemer?"
  6. "This is a fine time to disconnect me for not paying my phone bill."

Cartoon, Apr 29: Girl with violin, man sitting in chair, disheveled room.
  1. BM: "You know, Sally, the violin is not a suitable instrument for gangsta rap."
  2. MM: "Now that we understand each other better, Natalie, try the Moonlight Sonata again."

May 4 cartoon: A priest, a rabbi and a clergyman come into a bar. The barman speaks into his cell phone. Possible captions.

  1. BM: "Guess what. The God Squad just blew in."
  2. MM: "The iman seems to be running late today."

  • Jun 10. Two men lie exhasted on a desolate desert. One of them looks at his watch.
  • MY: It's 6:30. We've just missed the Happy Hour.
  • BM: It's exactly 12 noon, Greenwich Mean Time.
  • MM: It's 6 PM. Time for our drinkie-poo.

 

 

July 25. A bunch of scientists are opening up a warhead.

  1. MB: Knock on it. See whether it's ripe.
  2. MY: Let's just send it back.
  3. BM: The good news is that the dismantling instructions are here. The bad news is that they are in antique Korean.

July1: Cartoon. Man standing in front of a large framed fish, which holds his hand and sleeve in its teeth.

  1. BM: "I just couldn't deliver the coup de grace."
  2. MM: "We've become very attached to each other."
 

July 9. Cartoon: Man and woman sitting in bed in one of many cubicles.

  1. BM: I thought this was a 9 to 5 job.
  2. MM: So this is your idea of a night on the town!
  3. MY: Excuses, excuses, that's all I ever hear.
 

July 23. Cartoon: Man telephoning in office. The clock has symbols instead of numbers.

 

 

  1. BM: "Where the hell are you. It's almost *!."

Jul 31. NY Cartoon: A doctor in his office examines an enormous hand which comes in through the doorway.

  1. BM: "Just how much Growfast do you take each day?"
  2. MM: " I advise you to cut down on your daily intake of Miracle Grow."
  3. MY: "Housing must be a bit of a hassle for you."
 

Aug 2. Cartoon: A Pirate ship shows a flag with a smiling face above the crossbones.

  1. BM: "The new management just doesn't get it."

Aug 16. Cartoon: A woman enters her office riding on the back of a man. Her boss looks at his watch.

  1. BM: Late again! You've got to use the whip.
  2. MM: You need a divorce. This latest husband just isn't up to speed.
  3. MY: Still too slow. Why don't you double his oatmeal tomorrow morning.
 

Aug 26. Cartoon: Naked man poised with a shot put in a living room with two women watching.

  1. BM: One loud car horn and there goes Aunt Amy's Spode.
  2. MM: He says this is all the exercise he needs.

Sept 14. Cartoon: A couple sitting in their living room are reading stone tablets.

BM: I see that Nebuchadnezzar has become King of Babylon.

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